inevitability

inevitability

There is an inevitability that comes with parenthood. 

Time is no longer on my side more than the life I helped create. 

At least, I hope that to be true. 

My only prayer. 

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No longer the child. 

I am the guardian.

A graduate with no diploma. 

In this season, I am also an infant again. 

—-

Unexperienced. 

Unprepared. 

Underwater. 

Unproven.

—-

Uncertain in my step.

Shaking for balance. 

Underpaid in my effort. 

A half-empty piggy bank.

A half-empty piggy bank with a toll to pay.

I pretend to know what’s next, even though no one does. 

A heavy dose of instinct and caffeine floods my veins. 

I see my future clearly, the one I want to be true. 

My babies become kids, who become teens, who become adults, who have kids. 

The distance is still distant. 

But it is close enough to see down the road up ahead. 

With age comes bad eyesight but better vision. 

When you pass the halfway mark, the miles left move faster. 

Life isn’t an if. 

It’s a when. 

When you’re 45, you get a colonoscopy. 

When you’re 55, you’re still young. 

When you’re 65, you’re old. 

Like death, an inevitability. 

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